Hate flash mobs

I hate flash mobs. Everybody is going about their business and then a bunch of assholes who fancy themselves whimsical and free-spirited have to come in and subject everyone to their despicable crowing. My fantasy would be to be in command of a large tank and wait for them to break into chorus, then Tiananmen their asses.

I Just Attended a 香腸派對 (Sausage Fest)

Figuring I should be getting out more, I said yes to my friend's invitation to attend a birthday party at a one of those fancy residential buildings in downtown Xinyi. Unfortunately, there was like 9 guys and no women...I thought there might have been one but it turned out to be a skinny dude with a ponytail...sigh...

Universal Love, by Mozi

So I just finished reading "Universal Love," by Mozi, a great Chinese philosopher. It took him an entire essay to explain that if everybody loved each other, everything would be fine. Way to go, Captain Obvious.

A Poem Translation

The Flowering Tree
By Xi Murong

So that we could meet
At the height of my beauty

For this
I prayed to Buddha for 500 years
I pleaded that we might meet in this life
And so he made me a tree
Growing by the way you would take

In the sunlight
Carefully blooming
Each petal my past life's desire

When you come by
Please carefully listen
To the quivering leaves
It is my yearning passion

And when you finally go
Without even a glimpse
My friend
Upon the ground behind you
Are not fallen petals but the fragments of my heart

Dead dogs

Several hungry puppies were suckling, but their uncaring mother went out into the cold of winter, and being still attached, the puppies froze to death.

-Story from a friend-

Super Doctor

June 11, 220 AD
Hubei, China

Does not give a f---

This guy named Hua Tuo is like the most amazing doctor ever. He can heal every single sick person and his methods never fail. One day he receives a house call to treat the arrow wound of a famous general named Guan Yu. Hua Tuo takes a look at the wound and gravely shakes his head, muttering, "The arrow has penetrated deep, and it was poisoned. Unless drastic measures are immediately taken, the entire arm will need to be amputated."

"What drastic measures?" queries Guan Yu.

"An operation so painful that I will have to prepare you for it by first erecting a large pole, linking a metal hoop around the pole, then sticking your arm through the hoop and binding it against the pole to make sure you don't pull away."

"The pole and hoop won't be necessary," says Guan Yu, who proceeds to sit down, enjoy a brew, and play chess with a friend, remaining utterly unfazed throughout the entire process, which involves removing the bandage, opening the wound, slicing away the infected flesh, exposing the bare bone, and finally creating a horrific sound by scraping away the poisoned portion of bone.

Guan Yu gets up, yawns, stretches out, and thanks Hua Tuo. Those in the vicinity are thoroughly impressed.

Breaking News

June 11, 2010
Henan, China

A bunch of photographers hire a model to sit naked on a rock so that they can practice their human figure photography. Suddenly, a mob of angry villagers appears, shouting and wielding sticks, led by an old man shouting "This is an immoral disgrace!" They attempt to attack the model, whom the photographers rally to protect.



"They do not understand art," claimed the photographers